One for the Money (live action movie)

It's been a while since I last reviewed a movie I saw in the theaters. Sometimes I get an urge to review what I've seen, sometimes I don't. I felt like writing about this particular movie.

Synopsis:

Stephanie Plum was fired from her job 6 months ago and hasn't found anything new since. Her car has been taken away from her, she has bills that need to be paid and a pet hamster to feed, and she's down to her last four dollars. Out of desperation, she blackmails her cousin Vinnie into letting her work for him at his bail bonds office, hunting down skips. The skip she really wants to find is Morelli, a cop who supposedly murdered a guy. Morelli and Stephanie have history together - Morelli took Stephanie's virginity back when they were in high school and then never called her again. Stephanie wants the nice chunk of change she'd get from catching Morelli, sure, but she also wants a little revenge.

What Stephanie doesn't realize until it's too late is that she's in way over her head. She might not survive her new job, even with Morelli doing what he can to save her butt and Ranger, a hot fellow bounty hunter, getting her a gun and teaching her how to shoot.

Review:

It's been ages since I last read Janet Evanovich's One for the Money and two or three years since I last read any of the Stephanie Plum books. Still, the basics aren't hard to forget. Stephanie is a terrible bounty hunter, Morelli and Ranger are hot, and Stephanie is often surrounded by quirky/crazy people.

The Grand Finale (book) by Janet Evanovich

This book made me think, "I know I've seen this movie." It has some of what I came to love in Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series (like wacky humor), but I didn't think it was as good. It was...meh.

Synopsis:

Berry Knudsen is convinced that her latest pizza delivery call is a prank - the house she arrives at looks creepily unoccupied, and it's in the middle of nowhere. While contemplating the spookiness of the situation, she hears a kitten stuck up in a tree near the house. Berry has a soft spot for animals, so she decides to save the kitten. While in the tree, she accidentally spies on the owner of the house she's supposed to deliver the pizza to. He's getting undressed, he's hot, and Berry can't help but look. However, when he unzips his pants she panics and falls out of the tree.

Embarrassingly, this alerts the hunk to her accidental spying, but he doesn't seem to mind too much. Berry's attention is snagged by her Jeep, which rolls off a cliff. She'd have killed herself going after it, but the pizza-ordering hunk stops her. And also kisses her. In the way of so many Evanovich men, Jake Sawyer, the hunk, finds himself interested in Berry partly for her prettiness and partly for her nuttiness. He convinces her to let him drive her home in his gorgeous and very expensive car. During the drive, Berry finds out that he's a first-grade teacher and the chemist who invented Gunk, a popular and disgusting children's toy. The main reason he's now a first-grade teacher is so that he can invent more stuff and have the kids test it all for him. That makes him seem slightly less appealing to Berry.

During the drive, Jake also finds out a few things about Berry. She was previously married, but, after the marriage fell apart, she went back to school part-time and took a job as a pizza maker. After the owner of the business retired, she bought it, and now she runs a pizza place in addition to going to school. Her life has recently been complicated by three new workers she hired - she had intended to hire people who could deliver pizzas, and she instead ended up with three homeless little old ladies.

Berry can't deliver pizzas and support herself and three old ladies without a car, so Jake offers to let her use his. Berry does, but it's stolen almost immediately and stripped bare by the thief/thieves. It's depressing for Jake, who bought that car with his Gunk money, but he's not letting something like that chase him away from Berry. Then one of the little old ladies accidentally sets fire to Berry's apartment.

Jake, being a nice guy who also hopes to have Berry fall for him, invites Berry and the three ladies to stay at his house. While this gives him lots of time to flirt with Berry, the presence of the three old ladies tends to kill potentially romantic moments. They do manage to find time for those moments, but Berry's failed marriage is still very much in her mind. She doesn't want to get married again and lose all the confidence she's managed to build up.

Jake gets more and more frustrated with the way the ladies are messing up his chances of wooing Berry, so he starts setting them up with any elderly men he can find. Jake doesn't seem to understand what worries Berry most about marriage. His plans involves kids, a dog, and a wife, and Berry can't help but think he'll run roughshod over any plans she might have for her life - which doesn't mean she isn't the teensiest bit happy about the idea of ending up married to Jake.

Berry and Jake do finally sleep together. Unfortunately, Jake then seems to fall into the same behavior patterns Berry's former husband did, becoming distant and working all the time. It depresses Berry, but then he thaws again and explains that he just had to get caught up with homework grading - and then he brings a surprise dog home. Jake is still a nice guy, but things keep going a little less than perfectly. He seems to assume that he and Berry are just going to end up married, and when he proposes to her it's in a bathroom. Berry doesn't say no, but being engaged seems to make her feel nauseous. Things get even worse when Berry discovers that Jake is the reason her apartment is still unlivable - he used a stinky invention to make it smell bad so that she had to stay with him a while longer. Before things can get too rocky, they're brought together by their worry over their dog, who has eaten the engagement ring.

Jake decides to back off a bit and put the engagement on hold until Berry is more comfortable with the idea. This seems to help, too - various things Jake does convince Berry that marriage to Jake wouldn't be the disaster her previous marriage was. Unfortunately, Berry isn't sure that Jake even wants to marry her anymore. What she doesn't know is that he thinks that the idea of marrying him makes her unhappy and nauseous. Eventually, both of them clear up their misunderstandings. Jake is thrilled that Berry has finally decided she wants to marry him, and Berry finds out that Jake has been distracted because a few things he designed and invented have just sold, and he now has lots of money again. Here's hoping that their engagement survives the arrival of Jake's Aunt Bitsy, who's likely to be worse than all three of the old ladies put together when it comes to killing romance.

Commentary:

Forgettable, not terribly interesting, and I can't quite get myself to believe that Berry has really overcome the things that made her fear getting married to Jake. I mean, he still has to have a life, and his kind of life might mean that he's going to be distracted at times. Will they really be able to run Berry's business, have her go to school, have him invent things, etc.? The instant way Jake fell in love with Berry was a bit much, too. I like more build-up than that - that's probably why I like Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books more, since there's time to get an idea of why Stephanie might be so appealing to the men in her life.

The little old ladies weren't too interesting either. More annoying really. I know they were intended for additional comic relief, and it seems Evanovich has always loved "kooky old lady" characters. Unfortunately, for reasons I can't quite articulate, these ladies weren't really as much fun as, say, Grandma Mazur. Maybe because Grandma Mazur has more than one book in which to be kooky and therefore runs less of a risk of taking over the story. These three ladies not only made life just a bit more difficult for Berry, they also kept butting in on the romance - and none of the three really grabbed me enough for me to be ok with any of that. Could the romance between Berry and Jake have been better developed if the little old ladies hadn't been there, taking up pages? The dog was cute enough, and Evanovich seems to love dogs who eat everything, but a cute dog can't carry a book.

This book had absolutely no mystery elements, and that was probably for the best. The romance was forgettable enough that I can't imagine a mystery would have made it much more interesting.

Not too many read-alike suggestions this time around, sorry.  If you haven't already, I suggest reading at least the first few Stephanie Plum books.

Read-alikes:

• Bet Me (book) by Jennifer Crusie - Another romance that includes comedy and food.  This isn't my favorite Crusie book, but it's not bad.
• The Cubicle Next Door (book) by Siri L. Mitchell - This is a Christian romance, but don't let that scare you off - the Christian aspects aren't that major, mostly just the main characters looking for a good church to go to and occasionally thinking things like "What would God want me to do?"  Jackie, the main female character, doesn't like the idea of having her office divided up into cubicles and having to share her space, but Joe is like a steamroller - he won't let her not like him. Jackie blogs anonymously about her feelings toward Joe, which grow from annoyance into love, but then she has to worry about Joe discovering her feelings when her blog suddenly becomes a nationwide sensation.  Those who liked The Grand Finale's spunky little old ladies and heroine who has marriage fears might want to try this.

Plum Spooky (book) by Janet Evanovich

It's another "between the numbers" Stephanie Plum book, and I actually enjoyed this more than the most recent book in the main series. The villain was pretty forgettable, probably because he wasn't around a whole lot (plus, he was so over-the-top supernatural that he didn't really seem believable in Stephanie's world). That said, the humor was fun. I wouldn't say this book was all that great, but it was still way better than Finger Lickin' Fifteen. Then again, I suppose that's not saying much.

Synopsis:

It's been a while since I read this book. A long while. I've put off writing the synopsis for so long that I had to leaf through the book just to remind myself what happened. So this isn't going to be a detailed synopsis - my main goal is to finish this post and finally get the book out of my apartment.

Stephanie opens her door one day to discover that she's going to be watching out for a monkey named Carl for an indefinite amount of time (Carl's owner: Susan Stitch - who the heck is that??). Not long after being saddled with Carl, Stephanie is visited by Diesel, the mysterious and probably supernatural guy who turns up in all the Between-the-Numbers books and who never even crosses Stephanie's mind in the regular books. Morelli never sees Diesel, because Morelli is too busy dealing with his deadbeat brother, who was recently thrown out by his fed-up wife.

Anyway, Diesel is looking for some supernatural Big Bad name Wulf (Big Bad Wolf, har har), who has a habit of killing people and leaving burns in the shape of his hands on their necks. Wulf is teamed up with a socially-inept genius named Munch who missed his court date and stole some science-y stuff with names I can't remember. Stephanie needs to catch Munch, and Diesel needs to stop Wulf from doing whatever it is he's trying to do. They team up, because Stephanie's still too inept to catch the tough ones on her own (especially not when Lula keeps tagging along - Lula may have been useful when she first appeared in the series, but she gets in the way more often than not now). Diesel claims that his being around Stephanie will make it hard for Wulf to find him. Whatever.

There's some stuff after that that I don't remember so well. Stephanie looking for other skips and generally not doing so well - she gets pelted by vegetables at least once. There's a guy dressed like the Easter Bunny, a guy who can fart fire, and a whole bunch of monkeys wearing little metal helmets. At some point, Stephanie gets caught by Wulf and Munch, and Wulf gives her to Munch as his sex slave. Up to that point, you might think Munch is an adorable-looking (he looks about 12, even though he's an adult) pathetic hanger-on who could really use some help learning how to properly interact with people. Unfortunately, it becomes clear that Munch fully intends to rape Stephanie if he has to - he just wants to have sex with a woman, he doesn't care if she's willing.

Of course, Stephanie doesn't get raped, but it's still an overall freaky experience for her. She learns that Munch and Wulf had planned to build a device that could control the weather and then use that device to blackmail cities. If I remember right, the monkeys with little helmets are somehow part of the plan. Stephanie and Diesel (probably mostly Diesel) stop Wulf and Munch and save a lady the two had been holding hostage. Ranger makes an appearance. Diesel leaves. Carl goes back to Susan.

Oh yeah, you know how Lula and Tank's relationship just seemed to disappear after Fearless Fourteen? Well, it turns out that's explained in this book: Lula is allergic to cats, and Tank loves them in an "I'm secretly a little old crazy cat lady" kind of way. Tank would rather give up Lula than the cats, so Lula decides it's over between them.

Commentary:

Evanovich boxed herself in a bit, by going with a holiday theme for the Between-the-Numbers books - with a character named "Wulf," I kept expecting "werewolf" and then nothing ever happened. All I can think is that maybe Evanovich thought that just having a dangerous villain with supernatural powers counted as "spooky."

Looking over my synopsis, it really reflects badly on Finger Lickin' Fifteen that I think this book is better than that one. I mean, the story's not terribly interesting, the best Evanovich can come up with in the way of kooky is monkeys, and the villains may have their creepy/icky aspects (Munch the would-be rapist, ew), but then Evanovich drops in the whole "they plan to control the weather to make lots of money and take over the world" thing. That last bit is like something out of Pinky and the Brain. I loved that show, but trying to combine a Brain-style plan with villains supposedly capable of making Stephanie feel shaky and pale with fear didn't really work out so well. One diminishes the other.

If I'm remembering the other Between-the-Numbers books right, this one is a bit darker and heavier than the other ones - I wonder if Evanovich plans to continue with that in the next one? I hope not. For one thing, "dark and heavy" needs to be able to have an effect on characters. To my mind, the Between-the-Numbers books are supposed to be short, light adventures that take place outside the normal storyline. Although the books apparently take place in the same world as the regular Stephanie Plum books, readers are expected to accept and get over the fact that, in the regular books, Stephanie never even thinks about Diesel or the hints of magic that turn up in By-the-Numbers books. Not only that, none of the other characters think about Diesel or magic, either. I kind of got the feeling that Evanovich wrote the By-the-Numbers books to alleviate some boredom she might have been feeling with the regular Stephanie Plum books - this was a way for her to relieve that boredom without having the "recreate the wheel" and come up with a whole new series, new cast of characters, and new world. Either that, or Evanovich and/or her publisher wanted her to cash in on the popularity of paranormal romance in some way.

Whatever, moving on. Anyway, my point is, the Between-the-Numbers books sort of depend upon nothing happening in them that has any lasting effect. Otherwise, the suspension of disbelief that's necessary to deal with the whole "no one thinks about Diesel or magic" thing gets even harder. And Evanovich messed up on that in two ways in this book.

One, she got a bit dark in this book, and had a villain freak Stephanie out by basically telling her he planned to rape her. This isn't a huge mess-up, though, because lots of people in the regular books have threatened Stephanie, tried to kill her, etc. - so it's maybe easier for readers to talk themselves into believing that Stephanie doesn't think about the events of this book at all in the next regular book because this kind of stuff happens to her all the time.

However, two, Evanovich had Tank and Lula officially break up in this book. The explanation for their break up is in this book. I remembering thinking it was kind of strange that Lula never even gave Tank much thought in Finger Lickin' Fifteen, and now I know why - Evanovich put information that applies to characters from her regular books in a not-supposed-to-affect-the-main-storyline book. True, Tank and Lula aren't main characters, but I still think this is a slip-up. If readers are supposed to accept that all the magic and supernatural strangeness of the Between-the-Numbers doesn't cross over into the regular books, then Evanovich needs to do a better job of keeping the regular books from sliding into the Between-the-numbers books. Having the explanation for Lula and Tank's break-up in this book was sloppy.

I haven't read a Stephanie Plum book in a long time that made me want to actually buy it, even used. With all the complaints I keep having about the newer books, I really should just quit reading the series. But it's hard to quit - I started this series because I needed something I could turn to for a good, quick, fun, and funny read. For a long time, this series was my reading equivalent of a slice of cake or a bowl of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. I'm having problems accepting that all of that may be over. Maybe it's time to look for a new literary junk food equivalent.

Read-alikes and Watch-alikes:

• Cowboy Bebop (anime TV series) - Spike Spiegel is a bounty hunter with a laid-back attitude, amazing fighting skills, and a dark past. He's partners with Jet Black, a former cop, and, as the series progresses, his group grows to include Faye Valentine (a sexy, tricky gambler who can't really remember her past) and Ed (a weird and cheerful young hacker). A lot of the episodes, especially the earlier ones, are mostly humorous and include a lot of fast, madcap action - those who liked the action and humorous aspects of this book might like this series.
• Undead and Unwed (book) by MaryJanice Davidson - Undead and Unwed is the first book in a series about Betsy Taylor, a fashion- and shoe-obsessed woman who unexpectedly becomes a vampire. Not just any vampire, either - she's the queen of the vampires. She's got to deal with a sexy vampire named Eric Sinclair, a very evil vampire named Nostro, and new abilities she doesn't know anything about. Those who'd like another humorous series with a dose of romance might want to try this, which should be particularly appealing to those who also like the supernatural aspects of the Between-the-Numbers books. Just be warned, this series gets darker after a while.
• You Slay Me (book) by Katie MacAlister - This is the first book in MacAlister's Aisling Grey series. All Aisling wants to do is deliver an old, gold dragon statue to her uncle's client in Paris. Instead, she comes across a dead woman and a mysterious and sexy man. The man (who is also a dragon), named Drake, disappears, along with the statue. Aisling has to prove she didn't kill the woman and recover the statue, all while dealing with the revelation that she is a Guardian (basically, the Keeper of the Gates to Hell). Yet another series that combines action, humor (a Newfie demon is about as quirky as it gets, though), fantasy, and a bit of romance. Be warned, this series gets a bit darker as it progresses.

Finger Lickin' Fifteen (book) by Janet Evanovich

I really think I'm burning out on this series, but at least I didn't feel like the time I spent reading this book was a waste. There were plenty of funny bits, the occasional sexy bit with Ranger (although admittedly there have been better Ranger bits in past books, and certainly better Morelli bits), and the usual cast of quirky character (plus a little extra).

As with the previous book in the series, I feel a little ambivalent about this one. It was a fun read, but I remember reading the earlier books, enjoying the mystery aspects, laughing about the funny stuff until my belly hurt, and eagerly looking forward to the newest developments between Stephanie and Morelli and/or Ranger. Either I'm getting burned out, like I said, or the series is getting a tad stale. I do think this book had a less "recycled" feel than the last one, however.

This synopsis is slightly more general than usual. I don't give away the killers, or even the people behind the Rangeman-related thefts.

Synopsis:

Stephanie, whose gun is more likely to be found in the cookie jar in her apartment than on her person, is an unlikely bounty hunter. However, for the most part she does ok. Her skips are often annoying, quirky, and slippery, but she can usually manage to catch them and take them in with the help of her knowledge of Trenton, N.J. and its residents. And maybe a taser, but only if all else fails.

As usual, Stephanie needs money, and the only way to get it is to actually catch the skips she's been assigned. She thinks she can handle some of them on her own (Lula, of course, tags along), but there are a few in her caseload who might just decide to send her corpse back to the bail bonds office. When Ranger asks her to help him out with a problem of his own, it's like a godsend - while she helps him with his problem, he'll help her catch her more dangerous skips.

So, what problem could possibly prompt the great Ranger to ask Stephanie for help? Well, somebody has been stealing from clients of Rangeman, Ranger's security firm. It looks like someone at Rangeman might be responsible, so now there's no one Ranger can really trust. Ranger brings Stephanie in because she tends to be able to get people to open up. Plus, she's lucky and stumbles across the solutions to mysteries a lot.

Meanwhile, Lula witnesses a celebrity chef getting beheaded, and suddenly she's the repeated target of the killers, who want to get rid of the one and only witness to their crime. Lula's not exactly the most helpful witness, so she decides that the best thing to do is to enter the barbecue contest the chef was going to enter. She figures that someone didn't want him to enter the contest, so she'll have the best chance of finding the killers on the contest grounds. Also, she figures she can win the contest and claim the million dollar prize. Does it phase her at all that she's never barbecued before and thinks that all there is to making barbecue sauce is adding some pepper to ketchup? Of course not, this is Lula we're talking about. When Grandma Mazur agrees to be her assistant and Stephanie gets roped into helping them out, you know it's going to be a disaster.

After a while, Lula seems to forget that the primary goal is to catch the killers - she really wants to win that prize money. It's too bad she has to make Stephanie and her family suffer through the results of her efforts at learning to barbecue. On the plus side, Lula's new cross-dressing fireman boyfriend (Tank is barely even mentioned in the book, so I guess it's over between him and Lula) is willing to help clean up Stephanie's kitchen and teach Lula some barbecuing secrets.

Although Stephanie is willing to help Lula out and even (reluctantly) give her a place to stay after the killers shoot up her (Lula's) door, Stephanie doesn't spend any time helping Lula find the killers. Instead, she helps Ranger and tries to catch her skips. With Ranger's help, she deals with her skips, and with Stephanie's help, Ranger catches the people stealing from his clients. Morelli, by the way, is not happy that Stephanie has been spending so much time around Ranger. However, Morelli and Stephanie are rarely together in this book - Morelli shows up each time after Lula gets attacked, and that's about it until the end of the book. Morelli and Stephanie are fighting. Stephanie says it's because he complained about all the junk (like olives) she lets get into the peanut butter, but I think her real problem is fear of commitment. Her annoyance with Morelli doesn't keep her from being jealous about Joyce Barnhardt, the bane of her existence, spending a lot of time with him.

Anyway, by the end of the book, Ranger's problems are resolved, Morelli and Stephanie have made up, and the chef's killers have been caught.

Commentary:

Despite the danger Lula is in (and she is in danger, even if the killers happen to be mostly inept), Stephenie doesn't really seem to care much. Instead of trying to hunt down the killers in order to keep her friend from being killed, Stephanie goes after her skips and helps Ranger - she tolerates Lula, but mostly she wants Lula out of her immediate space (her apartment, her parents' house). Maybe book after book of scary situations has made her less susceptible to fear. Maybe her emotional reactions aren't as strong when she isn't the target of killers (I could be wrong, but this might be the first book where that's the case). Or maybe she's finally had enough of Lula. I forget which book it was, but I remember one in which all of Stephanie's troubles boiled down to being Lula's fault. Ever since that book, I've had problems liking Lula. She's like a bull in a china shop. Occasionally, her larger than life attitude and behavior will help Stephanie out, but she's as likely to cause as many problems as she solves. If it weren't for the fact that it would've ruined the comedic tone, I might've wondered if Evanovich, too, had started to get tired of Lula and planned to kill her off in this book.

The title of the book seems to indicate that the big mystery is "who killed the celebrity chef," but I kept forgetting who had been killed. Lula got so into barbecuing that even I forgot the real reason why she was entering the contest. Instead, my attention was more on Stephanie and the work she was doing for Ranger. Unfortunately, Ranger's problem wasn't really all that interesting. Yes, the idea that someone could outsmart Ranger is interesting, as is the idea that it might be someone in Rangeman. However, investigating Ranger's problem mostly involved working on a computer and taking a look at the various properties. No one tried to blow Stephanie or Ranger up while they investigated. It was a pretty sedate investigation, with just a bit of emotional tension resulting from possibility that one of Ranger's employees was betraying him.

Several cars got destroyed, and I couldn't help but smile at the bit where Stephanie immediately got a phone call when her GPS was turned off. Her skips provided a bit of excitement, but I can barely even remember most of them - they weren't really the quirky characters that some of her skips in the past have been, although the paintball game was a little surreal and the elderly man who exposed himself (to the not-so-secret delight of several neighborhood women) was worth a bit of a laugh.

Overall, it was an ok book, but it felt a little tired.

Oh, and I should mention that Evanovich doesn't include the recipe for the barbecue sauce Lula's cross-dressing fireman boyfriend gives her. Maybe I'm just too used to all those "food mysteries" my mom reads, but the lack of a recipe was a little disappointing. I likely would have never tried it out, but the secret ingredient (blackberry jelly) intrigued me.

Read-alikes and Watch-alikes:

• Cowboy Bebop (anime TV series) - Spike Spiegel is a bounty hunter with a laid-back attitude, amazing fighting skills, and a dark past. He's partners with Jet Black, a former cop, and, as the series progresses, his group grows to include Faye Valentine (a sexy, tricky gambler who can't really remember her past) and Ed (a weird and cheerful young hacker). A lot of the episodes, especially the earlier ones, are mostly humorous and include a lot of fast, madcap action - those who liked the action and humorous aspects of Finger Lickin' Fifteen might like this series.
• Dying for Chocolate (book) by Diane Mott Davidson - This is the second book in a series. Goldy Bear, a caterer in Aspen Meadow, Colorado, decides to have a security system installed in her home after she receives renewed threats from her ex-husband. During the installation, she and her son Arch stay with a retired general and his wife, with Goldy working as a live-in cook. Goldy finds herself juggling two romantic relationships, but then one of the men ends up dead. Goldy becomes a suspect and must find out who the real killer is in order to clear her name. Remember how I mentioned "food mysteries" in my commentary? Well, while I know there are plenty of other food mystery writers, Davidson is always the first one that pops into my head when I think of them. Those who'd like another mystery involving food (this one comes with recipes!), a bit of romance, humor, and quirky characters might like this book and the Goldy Bear series in general.
• Agnes and the Hitman (book) by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer - Food writer and cookbook author Agnes Crandall is rescued during a break-in by a hitman sent by the mob to protect her (the guy who broke in was actually after Agnes's dog, but whatever). Shane, the hitman, turns out to be a basically decent guy who helps Agnes out with her rat of a fiance, the people who keep trying to take her dog, and all the problems that crop up due to the fortune hidden right under Agnes's nose. Those who'd like another mystery with a bit of action, a bit of romance, humor, and quirky characters might like this.
  

Here's what I could be writing about...

I'm reaching new levels of pathetic - I can't seem to make myself write my posts! Or update my Shelfari bookshelf. Also, I managed to damage myself while sleeping and now can't turn my head all the way to the right - yesterday it hurt enough that I tearfully gobbled down arthritis-strength Tylenol just so that I could keep cataloging (we're about to get a 500-book shipment in, all at once, and I'm the only cataloger...), but today I'm doing a bit better and can laugh at how stupid the situation is.

So, since I can't offer anything else at the moment, I'll just write up a list of most of the stuff I'm procrastinating on writing about. As in, I haven't even written notes for myself. Crud. Well, I'll include some mini notes here.

• Foul Play by Janet Evanovich - A woman's job (as a TV clown entertaining children) is taken by a chicken. She gets blamed when the chicken goes missing, but, not to worry, a veterinarian who has fallen instantly in love with her is there to help her clear her name and figure out the true culprit. It's goofy romance - you've really got to be in the right mood to enjoy this sort of thing. I was in the mood for the romance, but not so much the mystery. Oooh, missing chicken, how mysteeerious...
• Slumdog Millionaire - It's amazing how much hype you can miss out on when you don't watch TV and only vaguely pay attention to news online, but even I heard about this movie. I just didn't want to pay $20 for it. So, when the local entertainment store had a "buy one clearance rental DVD, get a 2nd for $1" sale, I jumped on it. I liked the movie, but I felt the actual romance in it was lacking. The only thing I hated was the nearly unreadable subtitles. Also, I wanted to smack Jamal's brother.
• Naughty Neighbor by Janet Evanovich - A press secretary with an annoying (and sexy) neighbor finds her life turned upside down when said annoying neighbor's troubles start spilling over onto her. These troubles involve politicians and a missing pig. Notice a missing animal theme? The mystery is even more pathetic in this book than in Foul Play, but I found the romance more interesting. This is actually kind of embarrassing to admit, and, if I ever manage to make myself write a full post, you'll see why.
• Resident Evil: Degeneration - The Raccoon City tragedy is over, but that doesn't mean it's forgotten. After all, who could forget a bunch of zombies and other things even more horrific? Seeking revenge for the death of his family, a man lets the T-Virus loose, but things really start to suck when he becomes infected with the G-Virus. Actually, the outbreaks are pretty well-contained, so the horror is fairly small-scale. And kind of boring. With painful voice acting, despite the voice actors being veterans of many anime. The English voice actors - there's no Japanese language track. This was a horrible, horrible movie. I plan to sell it as soon as I've written a full post about it.
• Promises in Death by J.D. Robb - Coltraine, Morris's girlfriend and a fellow cop, is killed and it's up to Eve Dallas to bring her murderer to justice. It's not just any old case for her, not just the job - and I was thinking, "when is it ever just the job for Dallas?", but Robb made such a big deal about this I had to mention it. Robb tried to play with readers' emotions by bumping Coltraine up to "Morris's increasingly important girlfriend" status in the previous book, but I found I couldn't work up the kind of shock and sadness over her death that Robb was maybe going for. I did really like Dallas's new car though. I wonder how she'll wreck it?
• Serve It Cold by Ronnie Blackwell - One of my Podiobooks listening choices. It features several readers, but not quite enough people for me to always be able to tell the voices apart (especially when it comes to female characters). This one involves marijuana, nice New Orleans detail (not sure how accurate it is, but it all sounded good to me), a very fishy divorce case, some exhibitionists, art, and murder. I liked it, even though it was a bit too complicated for work time listening.
• 8810 by Nicholas Taylor - Another one of my Podiobooks listening choices. A guy gets a job in the auditing department of a big insurance company and must deal with the boringness of his job, his coworkers (some become his friends, others are just weird, and some fall somewhere in between), and the Dilbert-like idiocy that is just a part of corporate life. It's kind of like The Office, only it's not consistently funny. However, it's still well worth a listen. Plus, I love some of the Colorado details - the bit about Halloween in Colorado is absolutely perfect and absolutely true.
• Black Bird, vol. 1 by Kanoko Sakurakoji - Misao is horrified to discover that Kyo, her first love, is actually a tengu, a kind of demon, and that she has the dubious honor of being special - a demon who drinks her blood gains a long life, one who eats her flesh gains eternal youth, and one who makes her his bride will have a prosperous clan. Kyo wants her to be his bride and promises to protect her from all who would harm her, but Misao doesn't want him if he only wants her for what she can do for his clan. I don't know what the whole series will be like, but this volume was one big excuse for Misao to get hurt repeatedly, so that Kyo could heal her. By the way, he heals using licks and kisses. If you flip through it and think it has a lot of sex, that's because you're mistaking the healing scenes for sex scenes. I'm sure the similarity is intentional. It's not porn, but it's racy. I think it may become my guilty pleasure, at least until I tire of watching the many ways Misao can bleed all over the place.
• Fullmetal Alchemist, Season 1, Part 1 - I now own the whole series (minus the OVAs, which I might not be able to afford for some time - if I decide to pay it, the ALA membership fee will kill all my extra cash and then some this month). You have no idea how happy this makes me. I would list this series among my top 5 favorite anime. I've only ever seen it all in English dub, so it's a treat to see it in Japanese. Watching this while I'm watching Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood really brings home how fast the new series is speeding through things. On the one hand, I think that does a disservice to the characters and some of the heavier emotional stuff, but, on the other hand, the pacing of the original series could've been a tad faster.
• In Odd We Trust by Queenie Chan and Dean Koontz - I haven't quite figured out yet how much of the writing Koontz did versus Chan, but, regardless of who did how much, I wasn't impressed. This manga-inspired volume, which takes place before the events of Koontz's Odd Thomas, didn't communicate Odd's charm well. Plus, the story was very simplistic, and the art was wooden. I don't know what Chan's art is like in her other works, but, in this, the artwork as a whole needs to be more dynamic and there are basics, like perspective, that need work (Sherry's headband, or whatever you call it, really bothered me - you can always see the entire curve of it, even when her face is in profile).
• Skip Beat!, vol. 1 by Yoshiki Nakamura - ILLiad is down at my library and has been down for two weeks now, so, while I'm happy that I've started reading this manga, I can't wait until it's possible for me to request the next volume, because it seems like it might be a while before I can reach the point where the anime ended. I really like this series, but I have to admit that I prefer the anime so far - I just like the artwork in the anime better.

See how fantastically behind I am? Well, for now I'm just going to go do some neck stretches, but maybe I'll get a full post written tomorrow. Right.

Fearless Fourteen (book) by Janet Evanovich

Stephanie Plum's life, as always, is complicated. Romantically, things aren't going too badly. Her life with cop Joe Morelli is happy and nearly settled. Ranger still makes it clear that he'd like to get in her pants, but Stephanie continues to resist well enough and Ranger generally behaves himself. On the job front, things are more complex. Ranger has Stephanie help him out with a babysitting job, making sure that singer Brenda (who, if I remember right, is in her fifties or sixties - I couldn't relocate any of the bits in the book that say her age) stays out of trouble and reasonably sober - this is harder than you might think. Also, in the process of doing her job as a bond enforcement agent, Stephanie ends up having to take care of a teenager with a graffiti habit and having to find the poor kid's kidnapped mother.

If you've read all the other Stephanie Plum novels, you're not really going to find anything new in this one. As I said, Stephanie's relationships are in a holding state. Morelli almost slips up and proposes, but not really, so it doesn't count. Ranger flirts a bit and wonders aloud why he's continuing with this relationship when it's not really ending up where he wants it to end up, but he otherwise behaves himself. Grandma Mazur is, as usual, wild and wacky - in this book, Mario aka Zook, the teenager Stephanie ends up having to watch out for, gets Grandma involved in online gaming. Mooner shows up and, although he says he's drug-free, acts like his usual stoner self. About the only thing that's new is that Lula has decided she and Tank are going to get married, and Tank isn't required to have any say in any of it.

That's not to say that this book isn't enjoyable. I read this when I needed a laugh, and it did the job. It just didn't progress the series or the characters very much. In fact, this book reminded me very much of Lean Mean Thirteen. Both books have weird weaponry - that book has exploding taxidermied animals, while this one has a cannon used to shoot potatoes, tomatoes, and other edibles. Also, both books involve bad guys who are trying to find something that is either is Stephanie's possession or in the possession of someone close to her, like Morelli. It's a bit like Evanovich recycled the same plot points in two different books, which wouldn't be so bad if the books didn't come one right after the other in the series.

I think my biggest complaint about this book is that Evanovich didn't wrap everything up properly - it kind of made it seem like even she didn't really feel all that involved in the story. Unless I missed it, she never resolved Lula and Tank's rapidly deteriorating engagement - it's pretty obvious that the two shouldn't be getting married, since the very idea makes Tank want to pass out, but neither of them has called the engagement off by the end of the book. Evanovich also never explained where the severed toes came from (if you read the book, you know what I'm talking about), unless I missed that explanation. You'd think that at least Stephanie and Morelli would try to find out where the toes came from, since they had to come from an actual person who might now be needing some help, but no one really reacts in any way other than relief that the toes didn't come from the person they feared they came from. That doesn't make sense to me - it's a gaping plot hole left by Evanovich's desire to wrap things up happily without having to go through the effort of figuring out a plausible explanation that might make things unhappy again. The lack of explanation felt like a lazy cop-out.

Read-alikes and Watch-alikes:

• The Second Life Herald: The Virtual Tabloid That Witnessed the Dawn of the Metaverse (book) by Peter Ludlow and Mark Wallace - Those who were especially interested in Zook and Grandma Mazur's paranoid comments about griefers might like this book, although I think Evanovich's idea of what gamers and gaming are like is a little bit out there. This book is an interesting window into the kinds of amazing, interesting, and sometimes appalling things that can happen in virtual worlds like The Sims Online and Second Life. Personally, I enjoyed the descriptions of virtual terrorism (for example, a virtual bomb that managed to crash Second Life's servers) and virtual mobsters and hitmen (much like what you see in the Godfather movies, only entirely limited to virtual worlds). It's fascinating stuff, and, if I remember right, this book even has a few pictures.
  
• While You Were Sleeping (live action movie) - A lonely ticket collector for the Chicago transit system falls in love with a man she sees getting on the train every day, even though she's never actually had a conversation with him. She ends up saving his life and goes to visit him at the hospital, where she is mistaken as his fiancee. She gets to know and love his family and worries about what will happen when he comes out of the coma. Those who like Stephanie's oddball family might like this movie - the family in this movie isn't nearly as strange, but it has the same general happy, supportive feel.
  
• Cowboy Bebop (anime TV series) - Spike Spiegel is a bounty hunter with a laid-back attitude, amazing fighting skills, and a dark past. He's partners with Jet Black, a former cop, and, as the series progresses, his group grows to include Faye Valentine (a sexy, tricky gambler who can't really remember her past) and Ed (a weird and cheerful young hacker). A lot of the episodes, especially the earlier ones, are mostly humorous and include a lot of fast, madcap action - those who liked the action and humorous aspects of Fearless Fourteen might like this series.