REVIEW: I'm Glad My Mom Died (memoir) by Jennette McCurdy

I'm Glad My Mom Died is a memoir. I bought my copy new.

Review:

Content warning for abuse, assault, eating disorders, substance abuse, and probably other things I'm forgetting.

I had no idea who Jennette McCurdy was, prior to reading this. Although I did watch Nickelodeon growing up, I'm old enough that iCarly wasn't one of the shows I watched. I googled it a bit while reading this book, and I still think the "buttersock" thing sounds bizarre.

I read this for several reasons: 1) It seems to be pretty popular right now (which, true, would usually make me pass it by), 2) some folks at work were talking about it and got me interested, and 3) that title. Even then, I worried it'd be a bit of a slog. I don't normally gravitate towards memoirs. 

There's a quote on the cover that calls this book "Impressively funny." Add the title and, not knowing anything about McCurdy, I thought this might be a dark humor book. I could imagine potential readers flinching away from it, perhaps thinking it mean-spirited. 

I did not expect that a book with a title like this one would begin with McCurdy and her brothers crying at their mother's bedside while she was in a coma. But here's the thing: there's a lot packed into the title. It represents years of horrible experiences, as well as hard-won efforts at healing that almost certainly wouldn't have been possible without McCurdy's mother's death.

McCurdy's mother had wanted to be an actress, but her parents disapproved. Instead of being inspired to encourage her daughter's aspirations, she forced her own goals onto her daughter. She made her children watch footage from the time she was diagnosed with cancer and critiqued their emotional reactions - good children would have been properly grief-stricken, and 2-year-old McCurdy's was therefore clearly not a good daughter. McCurdy grew up with her mother as the focus of her world. Even her personal preferences, like her favorite color or preferred ice cream flavor, were determined based on what would make her mother most happy.

Some moments were utterly horrifying. When McCurdy was 11, her mother basically taught her how to have an eating disorder, leading to years of anorexia and then bulimia. Also, she wouldn't let her wash her own hair, and she would do breast and genital "checks" on McCurdy in the shower. I believe McCurdy was 16 during the one described in this book.

In addition to the stuff about McCurdy's mother, Nickelodeon doesn't come off looking great. From the sounds of things, the Creator (whose name is easy enough to look up, but I'll refer to him the way McCurdy did in her book) should have been ousted many years earlier than he was.

I was not expecting this to be so compulsively readable, even as parts of it made my skin crawl. I'm glad that McCurdy was able to get to the point where she could recognize the damage that had been done to her and start to heal.